gangsta k i d

[Wednesday, November 11, 2009 . Re-gain My Own Streaght]

its been awhile yeah..?? since i touch my blog....
so much had happen so much this few months....
i had new job which keeps me goin too pass by time....
And i have not much time to hang out or wat so ever.....even i miss it so much.....

here i go again to tell how i'm feeling rite now....
i just want to slap my face and say everything goin to be alrite....but haish...
Things kept on thinking about my dear....i miss him so much since his bz with his new scadule..
its hard for me to get my streaght back whn just one nite gone wrong....
it was just a rendem ckeck and i found sumthing was wrong...
To felt so shock and everything when so slow ,my heart was pumping so fast while my heart shatter to small parts...then i realise for moment mayb i was over reacting abt it...
Yet still it bring flash abt the past....when things started so small then never been corrected as a mistake,it may bring the furture all so wrong.... i been there and done that...
But when things happen again...i just feeling so lost and just worried to my deepest soul......
Even we made up about it..not that i'm sayin i'm not happy abt out it.....its i just don't feel complete rite now....i shall nvr blame him to understand what i gone trought...shall time heal my pain or sumthing else????

I love him so dearly.....and nvr want to lose him....plus he love me too.....as he said....
Day dreaming trought the thin air...i'm lost of words that i had once love someone ever so dearly which in the end it went wrong just wrong from simply white lie.....shall it happen again too me??
Oh..please help as i said to myself...cause i know no one will understand my feelings rite now....and i dun want my old mis-trust judgement like the old times i had done....

I just miss him ever so dearly of his swit text msgs when we don't mit...when we go out only the both of us when nobody can disturb us while enjoyin it to our fullest...all the romance he put me trought...we laughed and we cried side by side.....when he was sick i would be there no matter wat even it was a simple flu...

Yet i know he nids his time too with his family and friends which i never stopped him at all.... when during bfor he knows how to manage it but now mayb his too tired to think of us that much..that is so he just go on the flow whoever text him to go out or went out to eat or even when ever he wants to got to most....

i can't stand bloggin at this mmt with tears flowing and angry who would understand me now...i shall continue whn re gain my streaght....with love

gangstarapkid 4:51 AM